Bonus: Deleted Storylines and Reflections 9 years Later

               Introduction: anyone who has ever done multiple drafts knows that sometimes entire storylines are changed and/or dropped before the final version is released.  I wanted to go over briefly some of the basic ideas I was toying with and ultimately decided to change because of feedback or because of my own desire to change things.  One thing to warn you about: this alternate version might change your view of some of the characters.  Read with caution. 

               The biggest difference between the final version is that there were four POVs, instead of just two: Jeremy and Amanda were also narrators in the story.  Jeremy and Amanda were a lot of fun to write for because they were not as “good” as Chris and Lydia: they were much more self-centered, spread rumors, and lash out at the people around them.  In the original draft, there was a lot more sparring between Jeremy and Amanda, with Amanda declaring she would never go out with Jeremy.  

Becca, the girl that Jeremy flirted with, was given a much larger role along with Kristina, who was only referred to once in the entire finished book.  Both girls pined for Jeremy and were completely taken aback when Jeremy very publicly went out with Lydia (walking out of the school with flowers).   Amanda decided to destroy Jeremy by lying to Becca that he was into her, not Lydia and the whole relationship with Lydia was just for show – and then saying the same thing to Kristina as well.  Becca took the whole reveal at face value, but Kristina was angry and confused that Amanda waited until that moment to tell her (Kristina) that “news.”  Most of the scenes with Becca in the second half of the book are the same as when I first wrote them, with Becca cozying up to Jeremy while Jeremy insists to Lydia that they’re “just friends.”  In one scene I cut (because neither Lydia nor Chris was in the scene) Kristina confronted Jeremy about his behavior, and in a heat of passion, kissed Jeremy – just as Becca walked up.  After Becca became upset with Amanda for what happened, Amanda told Becca, “You know what to do,” and Becca fought Kristina for Jeremy (which Lydia experienced in the cafeteria).   Without this long subplot, we know that Becca was pursuing Jeremy but we don’t know exactly why – but you can also see it paints Amanda in a very bad light.    In the current version, I can tell you that I don’t believe Amanda had any hand in influencing Becca’s and Kristina’s actions.  I don’t think it fits with the final version of the character. 

Another character who was severely cut down was security officer Mr. Riley, whom Chris interacted with in one scene.  He played an authority figure who knows Jeremy is causing trouble and wants to talk some sense into Jeremy – but being self-centered, Jeremy’s not listening.  Before he calls up Chris (for the earlier confrontation in the bathroom), he first calls up Jeremy, who admitted nothing.   Later, after the fight between Becca and Kristina, Mr. Riley calls up Jeremy and later Amanda, for their part (either unintentionally or intentionally) in pushing Becca and Kristina to fight each other.  Amanda tells Mr. Riley she’s done nothing wrong.  But when Mr. Riley sees Jeremy again, he is so disgusted with Jeremy’s actions by this point that he says he had given up on Jeremy. 

One humorous (and frankly, kind of weird in retrospect), element I included in Jeremy’s narration is the inclusion of an imaginary conscience-like character, whom Jeremy calls Smarter Me.  (Jeremy jokes that his conscience left a long time ago.)  Smarter Me confronts Jeremy about his actions in a sarcastic way, and Jeremy narrates that he dresses better too.  Later, when Jeremy is considering going back to Lydia after the fight between Becca and Kristina, Smarter Me sports a goatee like Mr. Riley to torture Jeremy even further about his actions.  After Jeremy tells Smarter Me to go away, the imaginary figure doesn’t show up again in the story.

The climax was changed a lot from the final version.  In the final scene between Chris and Jeremy, Chris doesn’t just confront him – he challenges him to a basketball game for Lydia, first to 21 points.  Jeremy gets the upper hand at first, but Chris starts to bring his score up to Jeremy’s and at the last second, he scores 21 to beat Jeremy, and Jeremy agrees to leave her alone.  Meanwhile, after losing her best friend Katie (in this version, Amanda and Katie don’t become friends again, like in the final version), when Amanda sees Lydia, she snaps and confronts and pins Lydia against the wall, saying that Lydia was the one pursuing Jeremy.  Lydia asks her why she’s doing this, and after Amanda realizes the truth, Amanda says it’s because she wants Lydia to hate her, and breaks down.  Lydia, in an act of compassion, forgives Amanda, and Lydia admits her feelings for Chris while Amanda admits her feelings for Jeremy. Lydia and Amanda hug.  Then Lydia leaves Amanda and Chris leaves Jeremy.  Lydia and Chris admit their feelings for each other, but Lydia hasn’t broken up with Jeremy yet.  Lydia then goes to break up with Jeremy on the front steps of the school (instead of in the cafeteria like in the final version).  Amanda then trips Jeremy and initially angrily confronts Jeremy for his actions, but later admits her true feelings for him, and they kiss – but even in my first draft, I wasn’t completely sure about bringing Jeremy and Amanda together in the end.  The part where they get together was in brackets: [], which meant I knew that it didn’t exactly feel right.  One of the editors I sent my story to later cautioned me against using that ending with Jeremy and Amanda.  In my first draft, there is no scene where Lydia discovers the box of her photos on the front porch.  Chris arrives home first and waits for Lydia.  Lydia comes home, they admit they love each other and kiss and the book ends.

I also tried a technique in two scenes where two actions are happening simultaneously, with one column being action A and one column being action B, like this:

Lydia. Chris.

               I cut it out of the final product but I’m curious if I could have made it work.  So what were the two scenes that I used the two-column simultaneous action?  The dance scene early in the book (featured Chris interacting with Amanda while Jeremy interacted with Lydia) and the final confrontation where Chris confronted Jeremy and Amanda confronted Lydia. 

               One story, one scene, or even one line in a story can have infinite possibilities.  In retrospect, while I think the final version is better than the first draft for sure, it’s interesting to see the roads not taken. 

Would the story have been better with more revisions?  Absolutely.  But once that story is shared with the world the desire to make any changes goes way down.  Not completely, mind you. But I don’t want to change the final product.  It’s a story that was of its time, that is, of my mindset when I published it in 2015 and the story, the cover, and the book soundtrack all reflect that.  So yes, I can see all its flaws and everything that is cringy about it.  But I also see a story that is my own, flaws and all.  [If you want to send me any grammatical errors that need to be fixed, I would be happy to try to fix them. But you send me any story moments that could be tweaked or line readings that could be done differently - well, Romance is for Other People has been out for nine years now. I’m not going to change any story-related critiques.] I am glad I wrote it because it pushed me on the path I’m on now with my new story and this new website with my bestie Nikki.  Thank you for reading if you came to the end of all the bonus content. I hope you’ll take the journey on my next adventure.