Chapter 18: EVerything’s Fine with HIm

Lydia.

I just finished my last period before lunch the next day.  I walked to my locker and started toward the cafeteria.  Suddenly, everybody was running into the cafeteria. I had no idea why. Not knowing what else to do, I started running with them and rushed into the cafeteria. I was hoping to find Jeremy quickly anyway before that red-haired girl found him because I made up my mind. He was mine.

But everyone was gathered around in a circle yelling, “Fight! Fight!”

There was a break in the circle for a second, and I ran over to look in. Rolling on the ground were two girls – and my heart jumped into my throat. One of the girls who was fighting was that red-haired girl who kept coming to see Jeremy!

“He’s mine!”  The red-haired girl yelled at the other girl.  “Jeremy is mine!”

No, no. I pulled further and further back. That could’ve been me. That could’ve been me! 

I hid behind a table, hoping that the red-haired girl that Jeremy liked would never see me. The other girl, with brown hair, was pulled apart by a school official.  Jeremy walked in the cafeteria and the brown haired girl went ballistic.  She pointed a finger and yelled at Jeremy, “That’s him!  He’s the one who’s responsible for everything!”

I jumped up and ran out of the room, not knowing where I was going but as far away from there as possible.  I rushed into the bathroom and banged open the handicapped toilet door, then pushed it quickly shut and latched it.  I backed away and squeezed myself in the corner beside the handicapped toilet and tried to stop myself from shaking, but I couldn’t stop.  It could have been me.  I could have been the one she attacked.  I could have…

Get a hold of yourself, Lydia. Everything should be okay now. No girl was going to come out and start a fight with you. It was over.

So why was I still shuddering? Why was I still breathing heavily?

I forced myself to stand up. Any second now, that girl was going to break down that door and attack me. I slowly unlocked the latch and opened the door to the toilet, looking around the bathroom. It was empty. I pushed myself to go out the door to the hall and back into the cafeteria.

I looked around. The two girls were nowhere to be seen. Most everyone was sitting down with their food, talking excitedly. In line, Jeremy had just gotten food with his teammates. He saw me and motioned for me to come toward him. I sighed and started toward him.

Try as I might fight off the urge, I started looking for Chris. Where was he? Then I saw him: he was in line with Amanda. They smiled at each other and talked quietly as they moved forward in line. My walk toward Jeremy slowed down to nothing. It killed me to see Chris with Amanda. Why did it have to be her?

“Lydia,” Jeremy yelled as he motioned to me.

I walked toward him, trying to still my thumping heart. The guys were all surrounding the table and I was the only girl around them.

Jeremy turned to them. “Guys, is it all right if my girlfriend sits with us?”

They offered a begrudging okay.

“Come on,” Jeremy said, and I awkwardly sat down next to him. He grabbed and held my right hand in his left.

He turned to me. “Hey, don’t you want to get food?”

I looked at the empty space on the table in front of me, then back at him. “I’m not really hungry.”

On the other side of the table, one of the boys was describing the scene with way too much enthusiasm.  “They were grabbing each other’s hair! Punching each other! I’m telling you, this is the best thing to happen to this school in a long time.”

Why did one of Jeremy’s teammates have to go on and on about this, as if it’s some show to cheer on? Should we really be happy that those two got in a fight? “Um,” I spoke up.

“What?” All the guys turned to me.

“Do you know something about the fight?” The boy who had been going on about it turned to me.

“Uh…well…it just makes me uncomfortable to talk about this.”

They looked at me like I crazy. “Yeah, you would be because the girls were fighting over him.”

“Hey!” Jeremy finally spoke up. “I wasn’t there, okay? And I’m with Lydia. They must have been jealous they couldn’t have me…or something.” He forced a smile on me.

“Oh, yeah?” Another guy with a C on the right side of his jersey spoke up. “Weren’t you with one of those girls yesterday at lunch? I was sure I saw you.”

Jeremy looked like he was under a hot light. “Uh…she was just a friend. I had no idea she had those feelings for me. Lydia was cool with it. Right?”

He turned to me for confirmation. All the guys looked at me to see what I would say.

“Yeah, that’s right,” I said quietly. But I knew that was wrong.

“See?” Jeremy turned to him, annoyed.

“Okay, fine. And you’re not going to blow off practice like you did yesterday?”

“No, I’ll be there.”

I had a sudden sickening thought: Did he blow off practice to be with me? Even though I didn’t know, I was embarrassed that it happened. No wonder it seemed like the whole team hated me.

Suddenly a voice came over the P.A. system: “Jeremy Wagner, you are needed at the school security office. Please report there immediately.’’

All the teammates went “Ooh-h-h-h.”

 “Oh, shut up!” Jeremy snapped at them as he got up.

They chuckled. Jeremy bent down and kissed me. “I’ll see you after school, okay?”

I tried to smile. “Okay.”

I turned back and looked at the teammates looking at me. They seemed to not know what to do with me now that Jeremy was gone.

Finally, the one with the C on his jersey said, “Hey, I’m Mike.”

“Lydia,” I said.

The rest of the team introduced themselves.

“Listen,” Mike said after they finished. “All joking aside, is he treating you well? Jeremy has a reputation of being…a bit of a flirt.”

“A bit of a flirt,” Tyler repeated. They all laughed except for Mike.

“Everything’s fine with him,” I said quietly. Why was I doing this? It seemed that everyone knew that the fight was between two girls who wanted Jeremy. Couldn’t I just admit to them that Jeremy didn’t exactly always have eyes for me? They probably knew the truth, anyway.

“Really?” Mike said with concern in his voice. “You don’t look like you’re convinced.”

Tyler sighed. “Dude, maybe she’s uncomfortable with you going all interrogator on her. You’re worse than Mr. Riley.”

“Okay, fine,” Mike said to him. “Sorry, Lydia.”

“It’s fine,” I mumbled.  I forced myself to get up and go get lunch so I didn’t have to sit awkwardly with them anymore.  Maybe by the time I was finished getting my food Jeremy would be back.  I walked slowly to the counter, and slowly grabbed my food, and slowly went back to the table.

Jeremy was still not back.  His basketball teammates looked up at me when I sat back down, then ignored me and went back to their own conversations.  I could feel their eyes on me as I grabbed my fork and dug into my lunch.  But I couldn’t bring it up to my mouth.

I suddenly snapped out of zoning out completely when I saw Jeremy walk in with the phone in his hand. He looked very concerned as if he was assuring whoever was on the other line that everything was all right.

He was talking with her, wasn’t he? The way he was avoiding me and looked at me. It was the red-haired girl who he had lunch with the other day, who had the fight with the other girl today. Who else would call him? Wait, she was just suspended, or worse. Would she really have permission to call him?  And why was Jeremy sent to the security office?

I really had no idea. I could just sit there and watch my lunchtime with Jeremy slowly slip away from me.

He finished his call and started walking toward me. I turned back to my food and pretended to get ready to eat some of the food on the plate.

“Hi,” Jeremy suddenly said beside me. I looked up at him.

“Um…he stammered. “After school, I need to spend some time with my…friend Becca. She’s really upset right now, and I just need to be there for her today. You understand, right?”

All eyes on the table turned toward me. He smiled as nothing was wrong with what he was asking.

“…right,” Somehow came from my lips.

He sat down beside me. “Thanks.” He started digging into his lunch as if nothing had happened.

I tried again but lunch just sat there, more unappealing than ever. I could have told him no…Jeremy could have told her no. But I already gave my approval. I forced myself to eat a bite. It tasted like sandpaper and felt like nails going down my throat.