Chris.
I saw Lydia at lunchtime, sitting with him, and all of the basketball team. How did things get so messed up? Lydia was with the one person who I was afraid of, the one person who made my life miserable.
I turned back to Amanda, who smiled at me. She wasn’t perfect, but Amanda was all right. I just needed to relax about this.
We sat down next to Katie and her boyfriend Greg.
“Did you see it?” Katie said excitedly.
“No…” Amanda started.
“Those girls were really going at it,” she continued. “They were brutal to each other.”
“I missed the whole thing,” Amanda blurted. “Who was it?”
“Well, I know it was that girl who sat with Jeremy yesterday. Becca, I think. And that other girl is in my Spanish class. Christy, maybe…”
Amanda suddenly looked like someone shot her in the chest.
“Kristina,” Katie finished. “That’s it.”
“They were definitely fighting over a guy,” Greg added with a smile. “Stupid girls.”
Once again, they were going on about it as if it was some sport for our pleasure. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Come on, you guys. Should we really be talking about this?”
“What’s the big deal?” Greg started. “They’re just –”
“Anyway,” Katie interrupted. “Chris, have you made a decision about tomorrow night? We’d really like you to come.”
That last part may not be true. It seemed to me that they probably just wanted me just so they could invite Amanda without her being the third wheel. But so what?
“I can do it,” I said to them. “My mom took a little convincing, once my dad said yes, she was fine with it.”
Amanda sighed loudly. “Why do you still need to ask the heathens?”
I turned and looked directly at her. Why did have to make such a big deal about this? “Because some people still have to ask their parents, okay?”
“He’s right, Amanda. Besides, they said yes. Relax; we’re going to have a great time.” Katie said.
Several tables over, I saw Lydia, as she sat beside Jeremy. Lydia did not look like she wanted to be there. Everything on her face said she wanted to be as far away as possible. Jeremy was just sitting there and she was clearly upset. Why didn’t he do something to comfort her?
“Hello…earth to Chris?” Amanda said.
“What I said was that we have stuff we’ve got to do before our game today. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure…” I said halfheartedly.
“Chris, are you listening to me at all?” Amanda said with a slight edge in her voice.
I really wanted to drop everything and comfort Lydia. I didn’t want to be just sitting on the sidelines, watching her hurt. But I felt Amanda’s eyes on me and turned back to the table.
“Uh, yeah,” I turned back to Amanda.
She managed a slight smile. Lunch was nearly over, so we put away our trays and said goodbye.
***
Chris.
Every day this week, I missed Lydia gathering up her books and leaving. She somehow beat me home every single time. But today, she went slowly to her locker and gathered up her books and walked down the hallway toward home. I gathered up my books and started to follow her.
I pushed open the door and followed Lydia down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. The gray clouds covered the entire sky, which made it a dark and depressing day.
I kept walking, Lydia still some distance in front of me.
Lydia.
What was Jeremy doing with that girl? I knew in my heart that they were more than friends. Why wasn’t I good enough for him? Or beautiful enough? He told me he loved me, he said that I was beautiful. But every second away from me he seemed to be romancing some other girl.
All I wanted was for Jeremy to come back. Please come back to me, Jeremy. I shivered in the bitter January air and brushed my sleeve across my face.
I kept walking down the road to my home, alone.
Every single tree was without leaves, without life. The twisted spiky branches jutted out, piercing the air. Without the leaves, the branches made horrible, scary shapes, shapes of monsters and weapons. The branches poked down at me, ready to strike at me.
Thinking that the girl Jeremy was seeing was just a friend was the biggest lie ever constructed. But I wanted to believe it all the same, that as soon as he finished with her, he would come back and tell me he loved me again. But he was with her, and I walking home without him.
I turned back – and saw Chris some distance behind me. I didn’t want to see him. I already felt awful, and now even another horrible sick feeling came into my body.
No, I can’t face him. I turned and walked more quickly toward my house.
Chris.
I quickened my pace behind her, almost without thinking. She didn’t want me to follow her. But this was the way to my home too.
This was the first time since Jeremy and Lydia started dating that Lydia walked home. Maybe they broke up. But if that were true, why is she still running away from me?
No way could she stay with that jerk forever. Then she’ll come back to me. And everything will be all right with the world. All I had to do was to wait for her.
But again I thought about Lydia’s face filled with pain during lunch, the lunch before that, and during all our classes. Something was going on, and I was doing nothing about it.
No. She got herself into this mess; she can get herself out of it.
But that’s my best friend in front me hurting. Despite everything, I should comfort her. I need to stop doing nothing.
I sighed and pushed myself to start running toward her.
She ran faster. I kept running, but I started feeling ridiculous. What am I doing? She didn’t want to see me. And if she didn’t want to see me, why should I try to see her? But as I was watching her run away, I still wanted her to come back.
“Lydia,” I blurted. My voice was louder than I thought.
She stopped and looked at me. She was far away, but I could see the desperation in her face. She wanted to talk to me. I knew it.
But then she turned around and ran away from me. I watched as she became nothing except a tiny speck way down the road. Lydia, I miss you so much. Why can’t we work this out? Why do we have to keep ignoring each other?
What was I doing? I had new friends now. Amanda and her friend Katie had taken me in. I didn’t need Lydia anymore.
Then why was I standing here, still staring at the road while Lydia disappeared into her house?
Lydia.
“Hey,” My mom came in and gave me an awkward hug. “You’re actually home today. How was school?”
Mark looked up from doing his homework. “Are you crying?”
I brushed off my face and turned to the stairs. “I…need to do my homework.”
I started up the stairs toward my room. “Lydia, wait. What’s going on?” my mom called up to me.
I forced myself to stop and turn around. “Nothing’s going on,” I tried to keep my voice steady. “I need to do my homework.”
I went into my room and shut the door. I pulled out my homework and books…and I couldn’t see a thing, my eyes were getting so blurry.
Why did Jeremy have to be with that girl? Why couldn’t he be with me? Why did he have to be with another girl every chance he got?
The distance sound of the doorbell drifted up to my ears. Jeremy. If it’s him, I’m leaving with him. I quickly gathered up my books and papers and put them in her book bag.
As I stood at the top of the steps, Mom opened the door. Mark looked at him from behind Mom.
“Hey, is Lydia here?”
“Well, actually, I need to talk to you about –”
“You’re here!” I rushed down the stairs as she said it.
Mom looked confused as she turned around to me, and I used the opening to go past her onto the porch and into his arms. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
I turned back to my mom. “I’m going to do homework with Jeremy at his house, okay?”
She sighed. “Look, you’ve been struggling to finish your homework over the past few days. You know what will happen if you don’t complete your homework. Severe consequences.”
“I’ll do it, Mom, I promise,” I told her desperately. I started to walk off the porch.
“Lydia, I…I’d much rather you two stay here and do your homework,” Mom said.
Jeremy quickly mouthed no to me.
I sighed and turned back to her. “Mom, come on. Don’t you trust us?”
“No,” she finally said. “I don’t.”
I looked to Jeremy for support. “We’re going to do our homework, I promise,” he said to her.
Mom had her “mom” look like she didn’t believe him at all. “I’d…just feel better if you two were here, that’s all. We have snacks.”
“Mom, it has nothing to do with snacks. You let me go with Jeremy before, why is today different? You trusted us before, why don’t you trust us now?”
She sighed and shook her head. “It’s just that you guys have been avoiding me and your father since you two started dating. It makes me nervous.”
She was right, but still I gave my but mom look.
Finally, she threw up her hands. “Fine, I did say yes before. But please be careful, Lydia. Please.”
I glared at her. “You know I am.”
She didn’t say anything but shook her head.
“Well, we’re going,” I said, annoyed.
We walked off the porch and onto the sidewalk.
“Nine PM, Jeremy,” She yelled down to us.
“Yes, Ma’am – uh, Mrs. Jamison,” He called back to her.
We got in the car and drove away. For once, I was just glad he’s here.
He sighed and shook his head. “That was the worst.”
I looked out the window. “I know. I’m sorry.” My mind started racing from what happened earlier that day. “Why were you sent to the security office, Jeremy?”
He bristled and looked away. “If you must know, they thought I had something to do with the fight today. It wasn’t true, of course.” He suddenly flashed a wicked smile. “We aren’t going to do homework, are we?”
My mouthed dropped open. “No, we have to, Jeremy. If we don’t, I’ll have to go straight home and we can’t see each other.”
“…right,” he sighed again and looked away. We said nothing else to each other in the car.