Chapter 9: I am Not a Stereotype

Chris.

As the afternoon turned to evening, I felt worse and worse. Was I really done trying to figure out Lydia? Shouldn’t I give her a chance to explain herself?

All right, so she wasn’t very happy with me this morning when Amanda tried to talk with her and I did nothing.  And then Jeremy showed up to save the day, of course.  And then, this afternoon Jeremy recited lines from Romeo and Juliet and Lydia looked like she was actually impressed with him.  But when I did it, she was much happier…until I said I beat Jeremy.  And then, yes, I did go on and on about how I finally beat Jeremy.  But I thought she would be happy about that too…why was she so happy when I recited Romeo’s lines to her? 

Did she think I was telling her I loved her?  Her eyes lit up and her smile grew so wide.  And come to think of it, I saw that look before, four months ago at theater camp when we kissed during rehearsals.  You can’t keep avoiding this, Chris Howard.  You can’t pretend it doesn’t exist…

So she was mad that I thought “beating” Jeremy was so important.  But for so long, he got under my skin for what he did to me.  I’ve never had one victory against him.  And now I did, and it was at the exact time that Lydia was getting around to thinking that Jeremy was okay.  If I was in her shoes, yeah, I guess it would be annoying. 

It was nearly 6 PM. My mom was already starting dinner. I looked at my homework and realized I’d already finished everything, but I was just sitting at my desk for over a half hour.

I didn’t want to be angry with Lydia anymore.  She was the person I cared about the most, in so many ways.  Should I not apologize to her first?

Okay, it was time to do something.   I took a deep breath, got up and went downstairs. “I’m going over to Lydia’s, Mom,” I called from the steps.

“Good!” The way she said good meant that she knew I needed to go over to Lydia…her mom called my mom again…I turned and looked at my mom in the kitchen.

“Uh…okay.”

She turned from the kitchen door. “Just go.”

I turned to the front door of my house, opened it and quickly ran to the front door of Lydia’s house. I raised my hand to knock on it.

What was I doing? By now Lydia must hate me. Okay, fine, I have two things to apologize for, but I can do this. I can apologize to my best friend. This was silly.

I knocked on the door. Mrs. Jamison opened the door, and Mark stood behind her. I was really hoping for Lydia. Now I had to say everything in front of Mrs. Jamison and Mark. Why don’t you just shoot me now, it would be easier than what I was about to do. Guess I deserved it.

“Hi, Chris. What do you need?”

“I came here to apologize to Lydia.”

Mrs. Jamison pointed her finger at me. “So that’s why…” she then turned around and yelled at the top the stairs, “Lydia, Chris wants to talk to you.”

“Lydia!” She called again.

“I said I want to be left alone,” I heard from behind Mrs. Jamison.

“He’s coming to apologize!” She yelled back up to Lydia.

“What for?” Lydia yelled again.

Mrs. Jamison and Mark turned back to me. They might as well have put a bright light on me and started interrogating me. “Well, Chris, answer her. What do you have to apologize for?”

“Yeah, Chris – “Mark cut in, but her mom interrupted him.

“Mark,” she said sternly.

“Sorry.”

They turned back to me again. My eyes drifted to the door frame of the house, then down to the welcome mat on the porch. “I…for well…” I finally looked at Mrs. Jamison again. “I’m sorry for being an insensitive jerk.”

She raised her eyebrows as if she said, “What?” She sighed and called back up to Lydia, “He says, ‘I’m sorry for being an insensitive jerk.’”

Mrs. Jamison turned back to me and cocked her head like she sometimes did when she didn’t get me. “That’s very specific, Chris,” she said sarcastically.

“I…well...it’s complicated.”

“Right.”

Well, it all started when we kissed too long during rehearsals of Romeo and Juliet…that would surely go over well. Okay, just focus on what happened today.

“Well,” I said, “Jeremy started to recite lines as Romeo from Romeo and Juliet, trying to get her to fall for him.”

“That’s bad, right?” Mrs. Jamison asked me.

“Uh…except I decided to give my own performance and I did better than Jeremy, so Jeremy finally walked away and hopefully he’s never going to bother us again.”

“And that’s…good. Right?” She said.

“Yeah…except I kind of got carried away on the way home talking about how I beat Jeremy finally and I guess it really annoyed Lydia.”

I just stood there and waited for her mom to say something.

“Well, Lydia is here now…so you can apologize to her.” She turned around to reveal Lydia standing behind her.

“Come on, Mark.”

“But...!” He sighed and followed his mom into the kitchen.

How can her mom have eyes in the back of her head? I mean, she totally didn’t miss Lydia coming down the stairs...

I stood in front of Lydia. Here it comes, the big apology. I can do this.

“Lydia…I’m….I’m sorry.”

For a second she just looked at the floor.  Then she looked back up in her room as if she forgot something there.  She turned back and forced herself to look in my eyes.

“Yeah, it’s cool…I overreacted too. Sorry.”

“Really?” I blurted. “No, it’s totally okay. I’m not mad or anything.” Now I was talking as if a great offense was put on me? What was I doing?

She managed a slight smile. “Thanks.”

I had to know she really wasn’t mad at me anymore. “So, we’re cool now, right?”

“Yeah, totally, we’re cool.”

We just stood there in the doorway. What was I supposed to say now? But then Lydia looked at me like she was going to say something.  I knew what this was about – we’d been skirting around it since Theater Camp.  Fine, just ask it. 

“Is there something you wanted to tell me?” I blurted.  I closed my eyes, waiting for her to admit…

But behind me, I heard a car drive in the driveway beside the house.  I opened my eyes.  She looked at me and then back to her dad getting out of the car.  She started breathing heavily.

“No,” She finally said. “See you tomorrow.”

“Okay,’ I said. “Bye.”

We turned around to see Dad walking up the stairs. “Lydia, you’re letting the cold air in the house.”

“Sorry, Dad,” Lydia said distractedly.

I should be leaving now, but my feet weren’t moving. I was almost nearly certain about what Lydia wanted to talk with me about, and before I had convinced myself it was the last thing to talk about. So why wasn’t I leaving?

Mr. Jamison then turned to me. “Chris, why are you here? Never mind, that was a silly question. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Never mind, Mr. Jamison made it easy. “No, thank you, but I appreciate the offer. Goodbye, Mr. Jamison. Goodbye, Lydia.”

“Goodbye,” Lydia said.

I turned and walked down the steps as Mr. Jamison shut the door.

***

Chris.

Lydia left on a plane with her family as soon as she finished school Tuesday afternoon. Despite the fact that we said we were cool, we barely said a word to each other before she left.

Some people loved Thanksgiving, but with my family, it’s where bitter fights get rehashed over and over again. So my Aunt Joan would make it completely obvious that she was better than my mom until my mom had enough and blow up at Aunt Joan. My grandpa kept trying to have us celebrate Thanksgiving together because Grandma left him and us five years ago and moved to Florida with a man she met long ago in high school. She sends cards but not much else.

After Grandma left, I noticed Aunt Joan didn’t care what she said around us anymore. The fights happened every holiday we had together. But Grandpa kept trying for us to have holidays together because he was hoping my mom and Aunt Joan would eventually make up.

So after the fights started, there was nothing to do except wait until it was over. So I usually went to my room when it got bad and stayed there. I really didn’t want to see Jeremy anyway, after the Romeo and Juliet episode at school. I realized he might ignore us at school sometimes, but there were other times I had to deal with him, like during Thanksgiving.

Grandpa had already arrived when the door bell rang.

“Emily, you’re going to be cool, right?” my dad said to her.

“I think I can do it, dad,” she said and kissed him on the cheek.

We all sighed, and walked up to the door and opened it. Aunt Emily and Jeremy were there, along with a very young looking man.

“Welcome, Joan and Jeremy!”  She awkwardly gave them hugs.  “And who is this fine man?”

“His name is Kevin.  He’s 28 years old.  Yeah, he’s over ten years younger than me.  I’ve still got it.”

The smile froze on my mom’s face.  My dad put his arms around her shoulders and said, “Be cool.”

She forced herself to smile again and shook Kevin’s hand.  “Welcome to our home,” my mom said.

“Thanks,” he said to her.

They came inside.  I made sure to keep my distance from Jeremy.  “You’re probably all dying to hear how I met him,” Aunt Joan said to us.

“Well, actually, the food’s getting cold, so we can head to – “

“Certainly!  I can tell the story during the meal.”

My mom looked like she was about to blow her top.  “Fine.”

But it wasn’t fine.  And I knew it. 

We all made our way to the dining room and sat down.  Jeremy glared at me from across the table.  We said Grace and not a second later Aunt Joan continued,

“I was out at the new nightclub in town, and this floozy was dancing with him and I was like, I can do better than her.  So I cut in between them and danced with him the rest of the night.  It was amazing.”

Kevin cut in, “Well, that’s not exactly–” but then he made a noise as if someone had stabbed him, but then he smiled and turned to Aunt Joan.  Oh.  A slight smile played on my lips.  There she goes again.

“That’s very…cute.”  The smile looked even faker on my mom. 

“All right, everyone relax,” Grandpa said, trying in vain to defuse the situation.  “We came here to spend time with each other.”

We ate in silence for a few seconds.  But Aunt Joan just couldn’t shut up.  “It’s so nice having a younger guy in my life.  He gives me so much youth and vitality, you know what I mean?  He just brings out a whole new side of me.”

She sighed.  “Actually, I feel like my life is so much better since Brian left.  I mean, look at him.  He works out five days a week, he’s so muscular.  He always takes time out for me.  He’s.  The.  Perfect. Man.  Unlike…say…”

She looked directly at Mom when she said that.

“Come on, Joan – “ Grandpa started.

But it was too late.  Mom stood up.  “That’s it!  You’re always like this!  You have to prove you’re better than me.”

 “Oh please,” Aunt Joan said. “Stop trying to embarrass yourself.”

“Embarrass myself? You’re the one who’s embarrassing!”

I slipped out of my chair and stole upstairs as they continued arguing. 

I came into the room and flopped down on the bed with a book, waiting for the fight to be –

Knock! I jumped up from the bed to see Jeremy standing in the doorway.

I gulped and dropped the book I was holding. He started walking closer to me. Instinctively, I backed away from him.

He started to smile as he walked closer. “What do you want?” I finally stammered.

“Congrats on getting together with Lydia,” he smiled.  “I mean, it certainly looked that way after your performance as Romeo in the hallway.” 

I focused on the photo of Lydia and me in costume as Romeo and Juliet on my nightstand. “Um, no,” I said to him.  “We’re just friends – best friends.”

He rubbed his chin as if he was pondering what I just said.  “Really?  That’s interesting.”

I might as well just ask the obvious: “Why do you care?”

“What, you didn’t see I tried to do Romeo to her first?  Chris, Lydia is…amazing, stunningly beautiful.  I really want to go out with her.  And since you guys are just friends, sorry, best friends, there’s no reason I can’t finally ask her out.”

What?  He actually thought he had a chance?  “She’s not going to go out with you.” I shook my head. 

“I’m the star player on the basketball team,” he said. “I might even be the most popular guy in school. I have an incredibly infectious personality that girls are automatically attracted to. I’m God’s gift to the world. I’m simply amazing. And I’m the type of guy that Lydia wants deep down.”

Why was he saying this to me? I knew what he thought of himself.  “I…still don’t think she’ll go out with you.”

“Why not?”  He asked.

She knows.  That’s what I wanted to say.  She’ll never go out with you, because of what you did to me.   But even I didn’t know if Lydia would use that reason anymore.  I didn’t know how she would respond to me.

“She just won’t.”

“What, because I’m your cousin?  Is that a no-no?  I want her, Chris.  And I can see it in her eyes that she wants me too.”

I shook my head.  He walked toward me.

“Chris, I know that she can’t let go of you, even though you insist that you two are just friends.  I’m sick of waiting around until you let her go.  You have her all the time and you don’t even care.”

“I do care,” I barely whispered.  -

“It doesn’t look that way to me.  You can’t even be honest with her about how you feel about her.  When she sees finally that, she’ll leave you forever. You’re a pathetic loser, Chris, by holding onto her.  In fact, that’s all you’ll ever be!  You will always be a pathetic loser with no life or ability to do anything important!”

Maybe it was the way he said it, maybe I’d finally had enough. Maybe for the briefest second, I mustered up all the courage I had against him.

I pushed him away and blurted, “I am not a stereotype!”

He scoffed. “You think she’s yours, but I’m the one she wants. So why don’t you stop trying to stop the inevitable?  Leave Lydia alone so I can ask her out.”

I closed my eyes and bit my lip. “She won’t do it,” I whispered.

He leaned his face in close. “Yes, she will. I’m going after her with everything I have. I’m going to be more romantic than you’ll ever be. I will sweep her off her feet and you will be stuck watching me going out with Lydia, your best friend.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say.  I slowly shook my head.

He chuckled. “I’m the hero of this story because nobody cares about the broken-hearted. What all anyone cares about is who gets the girl. And that guy,” he pointed a finger at himself, “is me. There’s nothing you can do about it.”

My whole body was shaking. I tried to steady my hands but it was no use.

“What, Mr. Shakespeare? You have nothing to say to that?” he asked me.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

“That’s what I thought,” Jeremy smirked at me.

“It…it…” I started, but I couldn’t keep from stuttering.

“What? Does the loser actually have something to say? Come on, speak.”

“It’ll never happen,” I finally blurted.

My legs were going weak. It was all I could do to stay on my feet.

“Oh, yes, it will. You know how I’m going to do that? I’m going to try to make her see what a loser you are. And when she finally sees it, it’ll be too late for you.”

He started laughing and turned away. It was a split second, but I took it. I bolted out of the room and down the stairs.

I made it to the bottom of the stairs, and leaned against the front door, trying to catch my breath. I could hear Aunt Joan fighting with Grandpa now. I turned to see Kevin and Dad watching the game in the living room.

“Go, go, go!” Kevin yelled.

“You all right, Chris?” My dad said as he looked up from the game.

“…fine,” I said and opened the front door. I needed to get out of the house.

Mom was sitting on the front steps. I sat down beside her. How could Jeremy act like that? Like he could take Lydia like she was his? She was my best friend. Well, maybe Jeremy wasn’t himself. It wasn’t really him. That had to be it.

“Mom,” I said quietly. “Is there something you haven’t told me? Is there some sort of alien abduction and replacement going on?”

She turned to me and sighed. “Yeah, I could see that. Ever since my little sister was young, she never thought of me as a sister, she thought of me as competition. She was the baby of the family, so everybody gave her attention – you know what, screw it.  You don’t need to hear my sob story.”

We sat in silence for a few seconds after that.

“I’m sorry, what were we talking about?”

I nearly forgot about what I said earlier. “I think I said something about alien abduction and replacement…maybe…”

She laughed and put her hand on her head. “You weren’t talking about Aunt Joan, were you? You were talking about Jeremy.”

“Yeah,” I said. I fiddled with my shoe on the pavement.

“What’s going on, Chris? Did he and you have a fight?”

“Well, uh, yeah…well, he’s trying to intimidate me. You know he’s interested in Lydia and he thinks he can be more romantic and steal her away from me.”

She sighed and put her arm around me for a second. “Yeah, that was one of the things I had to bring up when she mentioned her son was the best ever, and she just said, ‘kids are kids, let them work it out.’” She stopped and realized she was talking about Aunt Joan again. “Well, anyway, the Lydia I know would never date someone as slimy as Jeremy. You should have nothing to worry about.”

I sighed. “I guess.”

“You don’t sound so convinced.”

“Well, it’s just that, sometimes I saw the way she looked at him when he talked with her.  And he’s been very nice to her.  And just a few days ago he actually recited the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet to her and she actually responded with Juliet’s lines.”

She was quiet for a few seconds.

Finally, she spoke up. “Look, Chris, I don’t know what you should do. Just be a good friend to her. I didn’t know that she…”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. Thanks.”

But it wasn’t okay. Would Lydia really go out with Jeremy? Every time they met, it seemed more likely.

Both of us were not wearing jackets and I suddenly shivered against the cold.

“If Lydia didn’t go out of state every Thanksgiving, I’d say you could invite her over for dinner tonight after our family leaves.”

“I’m not sure she would want that,” I mumbled. Wait, did I just say that?

“What, why?”

“Well, uh, in addition to the way she looks at him, she’s also been acting more distant lately. She almost acts like she wants to spend more time alone.”

“Oh, Chris,” she said. She put her arm around me again.

Suddenly the door opened and the two of us jumped to our feet. Aunt Joan came out, dragging Jeremy along with her. Grandpa followed close behind. “You’re the one responsible for Grandma leaving. You’re the one. You know it.”

“I tried to keep us together as long as possible. I did the best I could,” he defended himself.

“No, you didn’t,” She angrily pushed Jeremy into the back seat of her car. She then pointed her finger at Grandpa. “I’m not coming for Christmas! And I’m not speaking with you, ever!”

She did this before, and yet by the time the next holiday season rolled around, we would invite her again and she would come again and say the same stupid stuff that would get us angry with her all over again.

She slammed her car door and screeched away.

We both looked at each other. “Wait, what about her boyfriend?” I blurted.

Just as we turned to the door, Kevin shot out of the door and ran past us at the edge of the curb. “That was my ride home! Wait!” He ran in the middle of the road and waved his arms wildly.

“Wait! Wait! Joan!”

At the end of the street, just before the stop sign, the car stopped and quickly turned around. It caught up with him and stopped. Kevin opened the passenger side and started yelling at her, “How could you just leave me behind like –”

The door slammed and the car turned around again and sped away. We stared at it until it turned a corner at the stop sign and the screeching faded from our ears.

Mom walked over to Grandpa. “I love you, Dad. I know you’re trying your best, but Joan…”

He looked sadly at us. “I know, I know. Just once, I’d like for us to be together as a family without it dissolving into a bitter fight.”

“I’m so sorry Dad. I tried.”

“I know you did, I know she doesn’t make things easy on you,” he admitted.

She gave him a hug and they started walking back inside. It was over. But at least, Mom didn’t seem so bitter anymore.